


Like a Kiss

by R_Knight



Category: Sex Education (TV)
Genre: (sort of), Bad Parenting, Coming Out, Episode Fix-it, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Temporary Happy Ending Fix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 16:23:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17410223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Knight/pseuds/R_Knight
Summary: Adam makes a bad decision. What's new.(if the ending went a little differently.)





	Like a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't sure I was going to like where this relationship was inevitably heading because of how overused the bully/bullied trope is, but honestly I was so pleasantly surprised by how much I liked it, especially that scene in class afterwards, and then so sad about that last scene, that I just had to write a little something. 
> 
> The title is from 'He kissed me' - Grizzly Bear (the song used during the detention scene).

Adam’s entire life was a series of bad decisions, usually made to spite his dad. So it made sense that this newest thing was that, but turned up to ten. Something that would really grind his gears. Something that would make all that hatred that he saw in his dad’s face worth it. Make it actually _mean_ something, give him a reason other than the fact that he had always hated Adam, since he was a kid that couldn’t pick up reading as fast as his sister did, couldn’t focus on his numbers as long as she did, couldn’t draw a painting good enough to put on the fridge like she did. Couldn’t do anything right, so – fucking – no wonder he gave up, right? No wonder.

The thing was though.

The thing was that _this_ thing, _this_ decision to – to act on the desire that had stirred in his gut for who knew how long now, to say fuck it and press Eric to the floor and kiss him and kiss him and take his dick in his mouth and – whatever. But the decision, as much as he wished otherwise, wasn’t to spite his dad at all. Not one fucking iota. It was all Eric, how infuriating he was, how annoyingly bright he dressed, how he seemed to get back up every time he was hit – but with a brighter smile, with a straighter back, with a kind of bravery that Adam couldn’t even imagine.

It was all Eric. It was the colours that he drew around his eyes like girls did, it was his goofy fucking smile. It was the fact that every time Adam saw him he just seemed braver and braver. It was the way something snarled and confusing had settled in the base of his stomach when Adam first noticed him, and the way that snarling thing had twisted and changed and became something else over time. The way it had expanded like a balloon since Aimee had broken up with him, getting bigger and bigger and bigger until there was nowhere else for it to go.

And then it popped. And Adam had kissed him. And Adam had kissed him. And now he was going to kiss him again, because fuck it.

 _Fuck it._ This time it was a little about spite, and it was a lot about avoiding being made to go to the military school, but also it was just about kissing Eric for maybe the last time. Eric looked a mix of shocked and pitying from where he was stood across the street, and Adam could stand that the least of all things, hated the thought of being pitied as another poor repressed gay (bisexual, probably. He hadn’t put much thought into it yet) that would be fucked up by the armed forces, even if it _was_ sort of true. Adam was at least self-aware enough to know that he wasn’t going to do well where his dad was sending him.

So Adam said _“_ one sec!” to his mum, slammed the open car door closed, and made a run for it. Not down the road, or anything. He wasn’t trying to get away. He just had to get across the street before the officer caught him. Or his dad, who he could hear yelling as he pushed open the front door and came running outside.

Whatever, he just had to –

“Um, hi?” Eric said, wide-eyed. For half a second Adam froze, remembering what they’d done in detention, remembering their fingers brushing and their thighs pressed together in class, and being hit with a nervousness that he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt before. Apart from that time with Otis’ mum talking about _man-milk_. Gross.

He got over quick though, because he didn’t really have a choice. He said, “can I –” but didn’t bother finishing his sentence, instead leaning in to grab Eric’s face between his hands and lay one on him. And then another. And then Eric’s tongue was in his mouth and his hand was coming up to thread through Adam’s hair, and Adam was _this_ close to getting a full three-viagra-pills level boner, when there was hands on his shoulder, shoving him backward.

It was his dad, the officer and his mum standing a little behind them, both looking shocked. The officer was sort of grimacing.

“This isn’t going to work, Adam. None of your antics are going to work anymore, where you are going. Sorry, ah, Eric – my son is just trying to get out of –”

“I wasn’t just trying to -”

“Adam, would you just –”

“Uh actually sir,” Eric cut in, looking confused and terrified and brave and determined all at once, “we just wanted to say goodbye, you know.”

“ _Goodbye_?” His dad asked incredulously.

“Yeah, one last farewell to my – um – boyfriend, you know. Before he gets sent away. To the army?”

His dad’s eyes narrowed. Adam couldn’t even think about Eric saying boyfriend, what it could mean, if it could ever be a thing, because his dad looked like he didn’t believe it at all, and if he didn’t, well, what did it matter.

“Ah, actually.” They all turned to look at the officer, whose face was frozen in a grimace that was probably meant to be sympathetic. “I think that perhaps Adam might not be the best fit for our program. Ah, I’m sure you understand –”

“Understand _what_?” his dad said, turning on the officer. “This is just a stupid little joke that he’s playing, trying to get out of it, you have to see –”

Adam tuned them out then, closing his eyes for a moment and blowing out a sigh of relief. Obviously this wouldn’t fix things, and his dad was never going to believe that he wasn’t lying – although maybe that was a good thing – but he could probably relax knowing that the military schools didn’t want him any more, knowing he had a boyfriend. Fuck, _boyfriend_. That was weird. Did he want Eric to be his boyfriend? He didn’t want the _school_ to know, that was for sure. He was already ten other kinds of fucked, he didn’t need the gay label too.

He felt something brush his hand then, and even with his eyes squeezed shut he would know what it was. He opened his eyes at the same time he turned his hand over to let Eric take it in his own, thread their fingers together. It wasn’t like his parents hadn’t seen him do worse, now. Eric squeezed his hand, and Adam looked up at him, at the reassuring look on his face. The little quirk of a smile. Like he was saying _I got you_ and _wow your dad is an asshole_ at the same time.

God, Adam was so fucked.

Maybe this time it was the good kind, though.

**Author's Note:**

> I know nothing about military schools, and while they did repeal in 2013 the ban on openly gay people in military, let's say that due to the fact that the time this show was set is very ??????? I'm saying it's before the repeal and calling it a day.


End file.
